Montenegro: A Country Awash with Charm and Dilemmas

Montenegro has a lot going for it as tourist destination. It has great weather most of the year, dramatic scenery, and it’s compact geographically so it possible to see much of the country’s highlights in a short trip. It has charming car-free old towns, crystal-clear rivers, and winding roads that meander through gorgeous gorges and stunning ravines. The people are generally nice and friendly in that standoff-Balkan way, and while it’s not going to be on anyone’s list of must visit culinary destinations, you can find pretty much whatever you want to eat.

All of these qualities are nice but not unique to that part of the world by any means. Where it falls short is on value and basic infrastructure. The roads along the coast are choked with traffic, parking is a mess, and some of the towns don’t just have a medieval look with towering stone walls, but also a medieval sewage smell. Hotels and lodging didn’t seem terribly overpriced, but food and drinks were bordering on the absurd. $17 euros for an Aperol spritz is ridiculous, especially compared with Slovenia at five euros, and Venice at six euros. One could stomach the high prices if the quality of the food and the restaurant warranted it, but for the most part it absolutely did not. Where does all that money go? Not into infrastructure, or paying people to clean the alleys and cobblestone streets, that’s for sure. Paying to enter an ancient fort for a bit of history and lovely views of the Bay of Kotor makes sense, but if the ground are littered with garbage and it’s devoid of facilities, it ends up just as another trashy tourist trap. Not all of Montenegro is this way, but Kotor certainly is. The growth that the city and country have seen since Kotor was named the #1 place to travel by Lonely Planet in 2016 has been explosive and has since become a cash cow that for the country, with over five hundred cruise ships stopping throughout the year, belching their endlessly hungry and sunburnt tourist into narrow streets to suckle at the cities teat. The clogged streets clear up once the cruise ship unlatches and heads back out to sea, and the city signs a bit of relief. Just look at this totally not AI generated image:

Sarah joined me on this trip and after arriving at the airport in Podgorica and picking up our rental car (which itself was a horrible experience, taking over 2 hours even though there were only a few people in line. Stay away from Budget car rental there, it’s one of the scummiest rental car locations I’ve ever interacted with, and that’s saying a lot). Rental car companies are notorious in Montenegro for various scams from overcharges on insurance, to billing customers for preexisting damages. So take video and pictures of everything, inside and out of the car at pickup and drop-off) we spent a chill evening in the city. The next day we headed to the Tara Gorge on the border with Bosnia for a little bit of rafting.

No troll under this bridge, just a cocktail bar in Podgorica

The drive to the gorge wound through the mountains, taking us through sketchy-looking soviet era tunnels, many of which looked to have been cartoonishly blasted into the rock. Rocks of alarming size can be seen falling into the roads, and one -thankfully smaller- hit the side of the car on the way back. The mark it left blended in with all the other dings, scratches and dirt that was on the car when we got, so at least worked out.

We stayed at the Drina Rafting Center, a rafting company with on the banks of the gorge that offers bungalows stays and various outdoor activities. The gorge itself is pristine, but the bungalows were a mixed bag. The A-frame cabins are rustic spider havens, incredibly hot during the day and cold at night. They have power but no air conditioning or fans, and the windows lack screens so you have to choose between the bungalow being a soupy sweat box, or a slightly cooler but insect filled cabin. All that is pretty normal when it comes to riverside lodging, but what was unexpected was the absurdly loud late night party that when on until 2 am the night we checked it. They do mention that there is music and dancing after dinner, but what they don’t tell you is that they have a stadium worthy sound system that fills the gorge with an earsplitting cacophony and bone rattling base until late into the next day. There is no escape from it and even if earplugs were able to mute it a bit, the base thumps through your soul and rattles the spirits of your ancestors. It makes for miserable night of sleep, so I would recommend making it a day trip and not an overnight adventure.

Rafting trip stop - no bottled water on the almost 5 hours trip for some reason but supposedly the river is safe to drink from. No way in hell I’m rolling the dice on that.

Rafting Center Drina-Tara. Looks nice, but they have some oppressive rules like you can’t bring your own beverages (oven water) down to the waterfront - you have to buy everything from them at a steep markup

We split our time between Kotor and Budva, two coastal cities that with old towns that had very different vibes. Kotor was larger and had more to do, but was also infested with cruise ships and a more rough around the edges. Prices for food and drinks with about 30% more expensive than Budva, which was smaller, cleaner, and much less crowded. If you’re choosing between the two cities to stay in, I can’t think of a reason to recommend Kotor over Budva. It’s not that Kotor isn’t worth visiting, it’s just that Budva has 80% of the same attractions and sites for way less hassle, and less money. Kotor Bay though is unmatched for views and is stunning when scene from the nearby cable car, and sunset riding the alpine coaster on Mount Luvcen is gorgeous (even is Mastercard went overboard with it’s sponsorship of the attractions at the top of the mountain with gaudy signage spoiling some of the view points). It’s a recommended stop just for that alone.

This cafe on the hike behind the fort was supposedly open

Montenegro loves cats the way Turkey does, and you’ll find them lounging everywhere from the middle of alleyways to inside shops. Speaking of cats and shops, I can’t say for sure but I would estimate that 50% of the shops set feline related gifts and trinkets, and I didn’t mind that one bit.

One of the highlights of the trip for me was a sailboat tour of the Bay of Kotor. We booked a bit last minute via WhatsApp, but the half day abord the Monty B was amazing. The owner, Tim, and his mostly friendly dog, Bertie, picked us up in a dingy in the morning from the docks near the airport. We met the other tourists, some from Russia, the U.S. and Australia, and headed out to see with drinks and snacks. The weather was perfect, the sea calm, and we stopped few times for a swim in the open water. We wrapped up the tour of the bay with a deck meal and gin and tonics and afterwards had dinner with the couple from Australia. Tim, the captain, mentioned that he was soon retiring and selling the boat and business, and I mused on what life would be like if I were the captain/owner. My proclivity to seasickness firmly rules that out, but it does have its appeal.

Bay of Kotor sailboat cruise onboard the Monty B.

We spent a few days exploring the coast, then on the way back to the capital stopped by Lake Skadar for a scenic boat tour. It’s a huge body of water on the border between Montenegro and Albania and a national park on the Montenegrin side. It’s know for the hundreds of bird species that call it home, and for vast lily pad fields that stretch for acres. There’s plenty of free parking in Virpazar but what out for the scammers who run the Pelikan boat tour and hotel right at the entry to the town, they will try and get you to pay for the free parking.

Our week wrapped up too soon, and Sarah heads back to work while I head to meet Tara and our friend Ann in Slovenia for a weeklong bicycle trip through the countryside. I paid one last visit to the waking nightmare that is the Budget rental car office for the car return, and caught my flight out to Slovenia. I think we both left with a good overall impression of Montenegro even with its flaws. Maybe I’ll look into buying that boat after all…

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